Irritated Does Not Equal Stress

Surprisingly, I am not a stressed out person. I am easily excitable. I do have a tendency to “let my feelings show.” But this life I live, is all I know. My first two babies were born 15 weeks early. If you really want to try to conceptualize a 1 pound 6 ounce baby, go buy 1 pound 6 ounces of hamburger. Then, try to make a baby out of it. The boys spent 100 and 114 days in the NNICU. And, even after discharge, there were still issues. They came home at the end of November, right in the middle of cold and flu season. One good virus would have put them right back into the hospital. And, since that time 12 years ago, my life has only gotten more complicated. I don’t know “normal.”

See, I don’t think that I’m under a lot of stress. I sleep just fine every night. If I have a restless night, it means that I am getting a cold. It’s always been that way. But, I go to bed at a fairly reasonable hour and I’m out within 15-20 minutes. I wake up when the alarm goes off and I start my day. I do consume way too much coffee. According to my doctor and my blood work, I’m in excellent condition in spite of the fact that I could lose about 20 pounds.

But, I do get irritated. Especially when people assume that I must not be able to keep up or that I’m stressed out. I wouldn’t say that I get easily irritated but I get irritated at incompetence and laziness. Partly because I feel that if I can handle my load and stay on top of everything in my life, then why can’t YOU (whoever you are) stay on top of your life? I feel like I am constantly doing other people’s jobs. If I refuse to do someone's job and get irritated that I have been asked, then I am accused of being too stressed. Or it’s even worse if I demand that they do their job.

Case in point, my mother passed away and her condo is on the market. I am the executor of the estate. My brother wanted to use a friend of his as the realtor. Since I had no one particularly in mind, I agreed and asked him to have her call me. Well, he jumped the gun and had her list the house. Nit picky point here, he has no legal authority to do this. Now, the realtor should know this. I didn’t make an issue of it because the house was listed, who cares? However, it’s been since July and she has not called me once. I called to discuss the listing and replacing some flooring. Got her assistant, left a message. She never returned my call. Then, she set up an open house. She asked my brother to have ME call HER re the open house. So I did. I asked about the flooring again. She wants me to replace the flooring. Fine. But, until it’s replaced, I want the on-line ad to read that there is a generous flooring allowance. Still, two weeks later, the on-line ad has not been updated. She held the open house; she did not call me to let me know the status. Now, she wants me to call the next-door neighbor because the neighbor supposedly has a friend who is interested in the condo.

So, I’m supposed to find her a buyer, turn the buyer over to her and give her a commission? Am I missing something here? Plus I talked to this potential buyer in June of 2007. While the neighbor thinks that her friend may want to buy the condo, that’s not the way the friend presented it to me. And, the friend went though the house. She should have the realtor’s contact information. Or, she could get it off the sign. Oh wait; there is no sign because the realtor didn’t follow up with the condo association to get authorization to put a sign in the window! But, now my little bro is upset with me. He wants me to be “proactive” and call the realtor and tell her I’m unhappy. I would, if I was interested in keeping her. But, she hasn’t bothered to send me the “listing agreement”, hasn’t called me to see if I’m pleased with the job she’s doing, hasn’t updated the ad, and hasn’t returned messages that I have left. I’ve never had a realtor like this before. The two that I used previously, who are no longer in the business, made life easy for me, the Seller. I’m irritated because the realtor wants ME to do HER job. But, I’m not stressed out.

One of the reasons that I’m generally not stressed is that years ago I quit dealing with people who were obstructionists. If you do not make my life easier, then I do not deal with you. The kids’ previous dentist was not helpful in dealing with children with autism, so we found a new one who is. My eye doctor of 20+ years decided that he could not longer fit my mentally impaired child for glasses. Goodbye doc, hello Pearle Vision. (Note, a pediatric ophthalmologist examines his eyes; all I need is someone to buy the glasses from.) We had a similar issue with DS 1 and 2’s psychiatrist. We now have one that we love.

I guess I thought that I was the customer. While I don’t believe that the customer is always right, I am the one who should be being catered to. So, I do get irritated but I’m not stressed. There is a difference.